Reinventing to Look more Age-Appropriate, and More

Good Saturday Morning,
I've been so busy reinventing myself that I haven't paid attention to this blogsite.
For those of you that come around looking for a new entry, please come back. I'm back up to speed and will write several times a week.

So, what is there to say about ReInvention these days ... or better, what isn't there to say?

Have you seen the new Toyota ads? They are really reinventing their friendliness approach to buying their cars. As a nearly lifelong owner of Toyotas, I'm so disappointed in what I've been reading about them. Did making money become more important than driver safety? Were facts known and ignored? Who knows for sure. I do know that I loved their cars... had many. Since I live in NYC, I don't have a car. I actually don't intend to own one again unless I move out of this city... but I would have great doubt now about buying that brand.

About brands, I've been tweaking my brand.
Yes, each one of us has our own brand and it's made up of many components. For example, here are some of the aspects of my brand (and you can consider right along with me, what your brand components are.)
1. My name ... well, Ann Fry... that stays the same. Fry is my married name and I'm now divorced, so that could change someday if the knight in shining armor shows up.
2. My moniker ... my subtitle as a professional. As you can see from the web address above, I call myself .. The ReInvention Hotshot! It fits me. I help companies and individuals reinvent and I'm sassy enough to call myself a Hotshot!
3. My look. We all change our look now and again. My headshots are all over my webpages, my business cards. As a speaker, it's expected that people be able to see a picture of who they are talking with. Well, here is the current reinvention for me.

MY LOOK:
I've had to change my look due to a recent bout of breast cancer, which resulted in chemotherapy, which resulted in losing my hair. I've written of this before.
Well, chemo is over, my hair is starting to grow back in and it is very different from how it was.
First, my hair is coming in totally silver -- that's a straight out indicator to you that I've colored it for years... so now you know.
Second, although it was always sort of curly, it's coming back even more curly.
Third, I've been loving the "no-maintenance" style of wash and wear. In the past, I had to use all these special products, blow dry, flat iron, non-friz stuff, etc. If it was raining, I'd have a really bad hair day. Not to mention all the time it took. Not to mention when it cost to color and frost (2 process deal) to keep that look.

SO, I'm thinking I'm going to keep my new natural, simple look. I'm going to stay silver, keep it very, very, head-hugging short. Of course, I'll have to change my glasses and maybe some make-up shades ... and voila ... a NEW LOOK.

Now, lest you think this is a silly conversation, consider how such a thing impacts people in the workplace all the time. Do we not have ageism in the workplace? Is it considered distinguished for a man to have silver hair? But what about a woman? Is she just seen as old? So, there's a risk for me to stay silver white. Will my corporate clients look at me differently and reconsider whether to "keep" me onboard? OR, will they embrace my age and wisdom?

What am I saying here? Well, point blank... as I reinvent my look, will it create a huge risk? A possibility of a shift in business? Perhaps some will want to put me out to pasture (I hope not)... but others, perhaps, will rush to hire me ... respecting the Sage that I am. If nothing else, I've always been sort of edgy, sassy. I don't play inside the box and often I'm hired and respected for that. So, we'll see.
As I begin to "come out" and be seen as my new reinvented self, other people's colors will show.

Point: REInvention takes courage .. it's a risk. Are you willing? Do you sit back and NOT change for fear others will not take well to it? Do you remain in the status quo? Do you move forward? That is for you to ponder.

Truth: I am a "mature" woman ... I'm tired of pretending (as in coloring and punking my hair) that I'm less than that. I'm ready for the world to accept me as the real me. AND... I'm scared to death.

Thanks for reading.
Back at you soon.
ann

More Ramblings - Tiger Woods, Olympics, Hatred and Angst

Hello Everyone,
It's an interesting week. The Olympics are underway in Vancouver, the media is all over how the Canadians say "eh," Tiger Woods has apologized, a man flew a plane into a building in Austin, TX and killed himself and another in the process. I'm sure that somewhere out there, there's celebrity news as well .. I'm just not tuned in.

About the Olympics. I know people love them, but I have some thoughts on reinventing our views and beliefs about them. It's a concern to me that we spend millions of dollars on fireworks and gala events in a time when the world is in distress. How many people could we feed with that money. I so admire the young people who devote their lives to their skill training and put their body, souls and heart into it. It's grueling and often their childhood is put on hold. I worry about them. Then, when they come in 4th and don't get a medal, it's like their life is over. I'd love to find some ways to honor even getting to the Olympics and being better than 99.9% of the population. When are people every "good enough?" And how can we honor that without making it about being #1, 2 or 3?

About Tiger Woods. I think it took real guts for him to come out this week and apologize so publically. He was definitely a different Tiger at that podium. Now, the media is tearing apart whether he was apologetic enough. Who are they to say? I saw an interview this morning with an "Apology expert." She gave him an A- pretty darn good. Let's reinvent how we love to knock people off their pedestal when they show a "human side." Do I approve of what Tiger did? No. Is it my business what he did? No. It's between he and his wife ... and in this case, his sponsors. The therapist in me (I was one for 30 years) says... "there but for the grace of God go I." No one is exempt from mistakes, addictions and bad judgement. History is filled with them. It's how we learn and grow.

About Joseph Stack. A man builds up incredible anger and angst at the IRS and the government. I'm sure many of us have had feelings like that before. He, who appeared normal to those around him, obviously was teetering on the brink, simmering under the surface and then, seemingly "lost it." I feel incredible sadness for him and his family. And, having lived in Austin (in fact I lived less than 1/2 mile down the road from that building).. I'm sad for the residents of that great city. Although this was not a "terrorist" act, the site of an airplane into a building will bring back any post-traumatic shock anyone has had of a scene like this in the past. I'm sure that was intentional on Mr. Stack's part. What if that was avoidable? What if the powers that be could have responded to him in a different way? What if the government could be compassionate to people and listen and be helpful? Now that would be a major reinvention.

Personally, I went to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles this week in NY. I wanted to trade in my TX driver's license for my NY license .. and yes, finally become a resident of NY. The woman at the information desk handed me a form, told me to come back when I had my passport or birth certificate and my SS card. She never looked at me, and she certainly didn't want any further questions. She was on to "next." What if we reinvented this world to a place where people come from their hearts and their desire to be helpful ... and all people they served felt honored and assisted. Now that would be a reinvented attitude at work.

That's what I do. I'm the reinvention hotshot ... working with companies to reinvent their culture into one that cares about their employees and customers.
Thanks for reading.
As always, your comments are invited.

Some Ramblings (not so pleasant) About ReInvention

Rambling #1 -- Vday

Well, it's the day after Valentine's Day ... and I survived. Why do I say that? Well, I would love to see Valentine's Day (an invented holiday) either removed from the list or ReInvented to include just LOVE for all mankind. By making VDay (as I like to call it) about romance, it causes more pain than glory. Let me explain.

First, there shouldn't be only one day expressly set for people to honor their one and only love. I think that might best be done daily. And, what about spontaneously? When I was married, I loved it when my husband brought me flowers for no reason at all (although some of my friends assumed the worst .. that he maybe was guilty for something.)

Second, by suggesting that Vday is all about romance and love and sex ... it hurts many people who are dealing with 1) an unhappy relationship with a significant other and the hypocrisy of being honored that one day when many other days are lousy. 2) the loneliness of not having a significant other and feeling totally sad about that and not wanting it in your face. 3) the sadness of having lost their love, as in being widowed, divorced, etc.

If, on the other hand, we make Vday a day to love everyone ... then it's about acceptance, appreciation for our co-workers, our children, our friends. Yes, I know, there are cards for that and a slight inclination ... but truly, it's all about diamonds and flowers and dinner for two.

Let's reinvent that.

Rambling #2 -- Holidays
Let's also consider reinventing our relationship to honoring holidays in another way. In this day and age, a holiday is merely an excuse to 1) Not go to work (think of all the people that hate their jobs and actually WANT a day off to not work). 2) An opportunity for shopping and commercialism -- everyone is home today, let's sucker them for all they can or cannot afford to spend on their credit cards.

You see, many holidays could be seen as sacred and significant. Think of today .. we are celebrating and honoring Presidents Lincoln and Washington ... exactly HOW does that relate to shopping and spending money?

Here's where I date myself. When I was a kid... stores were actually ALL closed on Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's Day, Fourth of July, etc. The people who worked in retail actually got that day off and the reasons for the holidays were ever-present ... there were events to celebrate the value of the day, to be with loved ones. Now, probably only Christmas and Thanksgiving honor that.. maybe Easter.

I bet if you were to ask the typical woman/man on the street what today means and why it's a holiday, they couldn't tell you. That's sad.

Let's reinvent this.

Rambling #3 -- Reinvention is NOT to be feared.
Some people hear the word ReInvention and totally freak out. I actually have people say "I can't come to your reinvention workshop .. I'm way to scared." I wonder what they are scared about. I'm not going to suggest they prance naked through the streets. I'm just suggesting that each and everyone of us take a day (or whatever amount of time) to look at our lives and inquire into where we might "tweak it" .. where it's working, where it's not and how we might remedy that. Beyond that, I might suggest each one of us start becoming the person we are meant to be. One of my favorite sayings (yes, mine) is: Stop ripping off the world and be who you are meant to be.

ReInventing is about little steps .. it's not about doing everything completely different between this moment and the next. It's incremental. When we die, don't we want to feel like we reeealllly lived? I don't know about you .. but I'm not willing to settle for how it's always been (the status quo). I don't think you want to either.

Let's reinvent our relationship with ReInvention.

So. thanks for letting me ramble on this President's Day holiday. It's 11:30 in the morning, I'm still in my pajamas. Of course, I work at home, so I'm often in my pajamas half way through the day. I'm lucky -- don't have to get up and go to work each morning. If that annoys you .. then, hey, you too can have it if you're willing to give up the daily grind, take a risk, leap and reinvent.

Happy Holiday Monday

Stay the Same .. or Take ACTION .. The notion of Different!

On my website, at www.annfry.com I have the following quote: Wanting things to be different and doing what it takes to make things different are two different things!

We all wake up everyday, and during the course of that day, we have thoughts about how things are, how they're going, what's working, what's not ... in other words, we think many times a day about what we want to be different. We are seldom okay with how things are.

We can want things to be different -- we can wish and hope... but making things different .. now that is a much more challenging call. We want .. but do we have the guts, or will we take the time, or can we figure out the how, etc.

We hear people complaining about the government all the time ... criticizing and ranting and blaming. But, actually, what do they then DO to change what they don't like? It's all about ACTION. Ask yourself .. Am I someone who takes action? Or do I sit back and dream about it all, but do nothing? Tell the truth.

I might be the reinvention hotshot, but first and foremost, I'm a human being. I, like many of you, will wish and hope and then sit back and take NO action. Why? In my case, I get hooked into the "I don't know how." place. I spin my wheels, over think it, whine, doubt, etc. I ask everyone else what I need to do or should do. I weigh all the options ... ad nauseum. Eventually, I'll get sick and tired enough of not taking any action and will then do something.
For example. I've been needing to upgrade the content on my website for a long time. I've thought about it. I've printed out the old and carried it with me to make some upgrades, but yet, I didn't. Well, today, I had a burst of energy and just did it. It took about an hour to cut an paste and edit. My webmaster was working, so when I shot it all off to her, she got it done and up immediately. Wow! Weeks of NOT doing got done in an hour. That's ACTION.

Another thing to consider about not taking action ... we get to sit in a space of laziness, fear, aggravation. We get to be slugs. We get to be righteous about how no one is calling us, or using our services, etc. We blame others for our lack of work or whatever it might be. If the truth be known, however, it's US... our not doing anything.

We just get used to the status quo .. to staying where we are, doing the same old thing, whining and complaining about it. Sometimes, the circumstances can be overwhelming and we really don't know what to do OR it seems there's nothing to do.
NOTE: REInvention is NOT easy ... it's scary, demanding, challenging. It takes time and energy and perseverence and guts. It's not for the weak. Give yourself lots of nurturing attention and reassurance and pats on the back as you make progress. Take some down time, yell and scream and get frustrated.. and then, get back on the horse and keep riding forward.

The ACTION will lead to the change you want (eventually). Your life will be different AND it will take some getting used to ... AND it will be better than before if you acknowledge it and appreciate it.

So, stay where you are or take ACTION for things to be different. It's all up to you and you get to choose.
Happy ReInventing.

Shut Up and Take Action

(To listen to this blog rather than read it go here: http://tinyurl.com/2t3vgw )

Hi Everyone,
I think I want to rant a bit. There are so many things to reinvent in the world. If I were queen for a day... here's what I'd love to change:
- the whole political system in this country -- too much fighting and back stabbing
- the fact that people don't seem to understand one another -- the old "walk in someone else's shoes idea" ... if you're rich, spend a few days living like a poor person; and if you're poor, spend a few days living like a rich person. You'll see we all have issues.
- all the award shows ... could we just combine them into one long show ...?
- public fighting ... as on TV. I'm sick of the NBC issues. Do we need all these talk shows anyhow?
- lack of respect. I live in NYC, ride subways and buses. I can't tell you the number of young people that NEVER get up and give their seat to an older person who might need it. I can' even tell you how many younger people don't hold the door when they walk out, but rather just let it slam on the person behind them.
- news reporting... couldn't they just report what's happening without trying to destroy the person they're reporting about... people can make up their own minds.

Well, I could go on and on about my opinions. I won't. The point is ... there's much to change in the world AND we are mostly unable to pull those changes off. We can complain and whine; we can vote for change; we can write our editors, etc ... do what we can. There's a lot of frustration in trying to change big systems.

That being said .. we CAN effectly cause change in our own lives and maybe even those close to us. If we're sick and tired of how things are, we can work to shift our circumstances and have different experiences.

Stop saying "I can't." Stop thinking you can't. You can. If you're willing.

Much of my own personal change these days is circumstantial and sometimes feels out of my control. I have a scary health diagnosis, am getting treatment. It's an annoyance and I can't change that I have it. But, I can reinvent how I look at it all and deal with it. It IS up to me.

So, where in your life do you need to shut up and just take matters into your own hands to make some shifts and changes? I challenge you to take some action.

Share your thoughts, your actions... let us know what you're up to.
Reinvention is not overrated .. it's amazing and liberating and empowering.

Hang in there.
Ann

If Starbucks Can Do it ... You can do it!

Hi Everyone,
I've been on hiatus for a couple of weeks .. some travel, and some other business. I'm back and will be more regular.

ReInvention is such a hot word. I get a google alert everyday about reinvention and it's chock full of all sorts of articles. I read about movie characters being reinvented, companies reinventing, individuals blogging about how they're reinventing their lives. It's wonderful. So, I started wondering even more why the word is so popular and why so many people are re-examining their lives or the cultures of their companies, etc.

It's not rocket science. Our world is in a whirlwind of challenge and change. We have wars, we have devastating earthquakes and tornadoes, we have a very volatile economy and many unemployed people. There is no certainty at all .. in anything. Even the wealthy are having to sacrifice and watch more carefully. Nothing can be depended on. No one escapes the effects of all this turmoil.

So, change becomes the issue. If things aren't working, then do something different. Period. I'll continue to stress that all the time.

I just saw an interesting article on Starbucks. During the last couple of years, they realized that their popularity wasn't where it once was. They needed to go back to the drawing board and consider the quality of their products, create new foods and flavors, begin a social media blitz. They reinvented a great deal. (You can read the whole article here: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1955588,00.html)

So, what makes you any different than Starbucks. What do you have to stop doing or start doing that might make all the difference? Where would reinvention help you? Do you need to shift your attitude? Your career? Do you need to move locations? Do you need to commit to something? Take stock ... look around at your life.

I refer to our present life, at least for most of us, as remaining in the status quo. We do what we do, we don't spend too much time analyzing it, we DO spend time complaining about it. But, do we do what it takes to shift it into something we don't want to complain about?

I'll use myself here as an example. I speak professionally and I coach people. I've had different focuses over the years. Originally I started Humor University. I brought humor to the workplace (even wrote a book about it.) I continue to speak and to coach, but have transitioned quite a bit into this whole reinvention topic. I work with companies to shift their culture .. still bringing fun and happiness into the corporate environment. I work with individuals wanting to have some shift in their life. I run reinvention workshops. However, in this last one .. the workshops, I'm not attracting enough people. I hear people all around me saying how confused they are and how they want things to be different. But, when it comes to plunking down some cash to get into the workshop, they don't. So, I have to rewrite my brochures to be more compelling, or do more social media pushing or something. I have to get some advice on how to reinvent the reinvention workshop literature so that people are drawn to it. Maybe I'll even have to call it something different.

You see, it's about "tweaking." How do you tweak what you do all the time to continue to raise the bar? What does it take? If you're an entrepreneur you do that all the time. If you're a business, you do that all the time.

So, I ask you .. where in your life do you have to "tweak?" Where do you want to raise the bar? What do you want to be different? ANd, what's one step you can take today to begin to do that?

Happy ReInventing.
I welcome your comments.... especially on what you would call a reinvention workshop so that people would come.
Thanks, and happy weekend.
ann

Creating a ReInvention Vision

Okay, so in your head, maybe in the middle of the night, you say to yourself, "my life sort of sucks" or "I'm ready for something new and different" or "I think I'll move to Bali and start over." But, then you wake up in the morning and your day begins, like every other day and you silence the internal voice, suck it up and do what you always do.

Is this a familiar scenario? And, for how many years have you been doing this?

I get email all the time from people who dream quietly and sometimes even desperately, in their heads, but then squelch it and continue with the same old same old. Is it that they're idiots? NO, it's that they're scared, don't know how, feel overly obligated to others, dependent on the current lifestyle. You name it and the excuse is there.

More seriously, in some cases, they just don't even know that they are unhappy or that there are lurking desires. They're clueless, out of touch. They've buried their desires so down deep inside that they don't even remember them.

Wherever you are in this spectrum -- from KNOWING that you do want things to be different to CLUELESS ... here's an exercise you can take on. It works on the subconscious level and you don't even really have to think.

It's called Visioning or Creating a Vision Board. I'll take you through it one step at a time.
1. Get the following supplies and have them ready: a bunch of magazines, a pair of scissors, a glue stick, a poster board.
2. Give yourself permission to just go with it, not think and be playful.
3. Start to wonder / inquire inside: What would I love my life to look like in 2010?
4. Start going through the magazines. Everytime a picture grabs your attention, just rip it out (In addition to pictures, Words and phrases count)
5. Take all the pages you ripped out and start cutting out the portions of them that appeal to you -- photos, captions, words, etc.
6. Using the glue stick, start gluing them on the poster board. Be creative. You can cluster them (e.g. .. I have a section on my board related to business, another related to health, another to relationships) OR just put anything wherever you like the way it looks. THERE'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO DO THIS.
7. You can further decorate it if you'd like ... not necessary.
8. Once you have enough on the board, feel inspired by it, then put it up someplace where you can see it regularly. (I know it might not add to the beautiful art you have.. but you'll find a place.)

Voila -- you're done. Then, many times, every day, as you walk by the board, you'll be reminded of what "lights you up" for the next year. It will start working on you.
It's a way cool idea.

The only reason not to do this is to stay in whatever rut you're in. However, at the end of the year, do not complain that you're in the same place.
The reasons to do this ... well .. .everything. It's based on the premise, that if you can see it .. you can create it. It's what is talked about in the Law of Attraction.
So, it's up to you. How do you want to create your year?

I hope you take this on and enjoy it.
Happy 2010.
Remember -- no resolutions .. just intention and action.
Cheers and Have fun,
Ann